At the Slammys — just like at any other major awards show — there are winners and there are losers. Unfortunately, we here at WWE.com really liked some of the losers.
Full list of 2013 Slammy Award winners | Photos of Superstars with their Slammys
With all due respect to the Superstars and Divas who left Raw with shiny trophies in their hands, we’d like to spend a few minutes grousing about what we perceived to be the night’s biggest slights. After all, isn’t that what the Internet is for?
It’s fitting that the Double-Cross of the Year Slammy ended up feeling like a double-cross itself. There had to be some kind of grift at play to keep Mark Henry from winning this award.
Watch Mark Henry's incredible speech
Fact is, swindling Daniel Bryan already felt like an exhausting meme by the time HBK superkicked him in the face at WWE Hell in a Cell. It was like The Authority’s answer to twerking. What Henry delivered in his faux retirement speech on the June 18, 2013, Raw was fresh and wholly unexpected. Not a single person saw his swerve coming. Even friends and family who had known Henry for years were sending him consolatory text messages in the middle of his tearful interview.
More than 15 years into his career, The World’s Strongest Man is still revealing unexpected facets of his persona. That night, his performance wasn’t just Slammy worthy; it was Emmy worthy.
Did the entire WWE Universe take a bathroom break during The Undertaker’s showdown with CM Punk at WrestleMania 29? There has to be some explanation as to why fans opted for the second once-in-a-lifetime battle between The Rock and John Cena over the epic encounter between The Deadman and The Straight Edge Superstar as 2013’s Match of the Year.
It’s not that Rock-Cena II wasn’t epic — any main event that takes place in front of more than 80,000 people is going to feel special. But did it match the rollercoaster thrills of the nail-biter between Undertaker and Punk? Did it offer the unpredictability of Paul Heyman’s presence? Did it have the added gravitas that Paul Bearer’s untimely passing brought to the evening?
The Phenom has had the market cornered on Match of the Year for the last half decade (as well he should), but this year’s Slammy belonged to him just the same. That goes double for Punk, who actually had an even better bout this year. But that’s another story.
We can live with the fact that Antonio Cesaro lost out to Mark Henry in the Feat of Strength of the Year category (the dude pulled trucks, for Pete’s sake!). But no love for the Cesaro Swing? Come on! The former United States Champion’s human centrifuge is the most thrilling display of power and balance we’ve seen since the days when The Undertaker used to tiptoe across the top rope. It’s the kind of elusive maneuver that makes people sit up and shout, “How the hell did he do that?”
Watch Cesaro execute his Cesaro Swing on Great Khali
Yeah, Roman Reigns’ spear took out more dudes than polio this year, but The Shield’s muscle is just the latest in a long line of powerhouses to favor the maneuver. There probably aren’t many men on this planet who could Cesaro Swing The Great Khali. And even fewer who would be willing to try.
Chalk this one up to the unnerving influence of reality television. As if AJ Lee didn’t have enough reasons to despise the cast of “Total Divas,” the Divas Champion lost out on the Diva of the Year Slammy to the one-two punch of Nikki and Brie Bella, the twin stars of the hit E! series.
Any other year we’d gladly give it up to The Bellas for truly breaking apart from the pack and becoming legitimate crossover celebrities. But 2013 belonged to AJ Lee. Over the past 365 days, she skipped from cult figure to standalone star with her own adoring fan base and the numerals of the day she won the Divas Title permanently inked into the back of her neck.
Check out photos of AJ's tattoo
The stream of verbal poison AJ spewed at the cast of “Total Divas” on Raw on Aug. 26 (which, we should add, was also snubbed) introduced a new Ms. Lee to the WWE Universe. After the Slammys, those words sting just a little bit more.
If you were following Dolph Ziggler’s thrilling rise at the onset of 2013, the night after WrestleMania felt like the culmination of something important. The moment The Showoff cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase on a fallen Alberto Del Rio was just that — a moment. Dolph’s moment. That rare confluence of events where a Superstar suddenly becomes something more than a grown man in hot pants.
The Slammy Award-winning East Rutherford, N.J., crowd that has become ingrained in WWE legend truly came alive the second Ziggler’s music hit. Didn’t matter that Dolph was pretty much a despised villain at that point, or that Del Rio was a hero. Everyone knew they were suddenly a part of something special.
Ziggler’s momentum slowed as the year went on (thanks in large part to an unfortunate concussion), which could explain why he was snubbed. But any fan lucky enough to be in the IZOD Center that night knows there was no moment more worthy of the chant, “This is awesome!”
Watching CM Punk tee off on the sentient cup of pudding that is Paul Heyman was undoubtedly cathartic. But extreme? The Straight Edge Superstar gets more extreme when he slumps down in the chair to get his latest tattoo.
Nah, the real Extreme Moment of the Year belonged to Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins — that Cerberus of squared circle destruction that made The Undertaker appear disturbingly vulnerable on the April 26 SmackDown. Hefting The Deadman in the air and driving him through the ringside announce table with their patented Triple Powerbomb, The Shield simultaneously thumbed their noses at WWE tradition and identified themselves as Superstars that were willing to do truly anything to get ahead.
See The Shield's most monstrous Triple Powerbombs
The fact that they won the Slammy for Breakout Star of the Year says something. The Slammy for Extreme Moment of the Year would have said more.