Chances are, when a Superstar tallies up the total bouts in his WWE career, the majority of them will have been singles matches. It’s just you and your opponent. There’s no cage to climb, no reason to duck out of the ring and rummage around for a weapon, no ladder to use as a shield or a battering ram—just a three-count or a tap-out. For that reason, a singles match will serve as the baseline of zero for comparison, with these point values added…
A. Title Always At Stake: +1
B. Weapons: +1 (for each employed)
C. Potential For Handicap Situation: +1
D. Potential For Action To Spill Outside The Ring: +1
E. Potential For Outside Interference: +1
F. Unaccounted For Activity Of Other Competitors in Match: +1
G. Multiple Participants (anything greater than two competitors involved): +1
H. Confined Space And/Or Entrapment: +1
I. Any Added Reference/Comparison To Hell And/Or Satan: +1
J. Uneven Footing/Inconsistent And/Or Shaky Ground: +1
K. Disease (Potential): +1
L. More Than One Pinfall/Submission Possible: +1
M. More Than One Pinfall/Submission Required For The Win: +2
N. Random Stipulation/Lack Of Preparation Prior To Match: +2
O. Pushed To Physical Limits Due To Excessive Time in Ring: +2
P. Potential For High-Altitude Falls: +2
Q. Use Of Ring Beyond Its Usual Scope: +2
R. Involvement Of Fire: +3
S. Career On The Line: +3
20. Tables Match
(B+C+D+E) = +4
See: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show, Extreme Rules 2012
Ask Cody Rhodes or Big Show how it feels to fall through a table. We’re sure they won’t recommend it. Falling onto the mat or thin layer of padding at ringside can do enough damage to the body, but during a match in which the object is to put your opponent through a table, the risk is amplified. Not only do you have to deal with shards of wood protruding into your body—splinters!—but also the fall after the fall. Following your crash into the table, you still have to hit the ground, which adds even more insult (and injury) to your injury.
18. Hog Pen Match
(E+H+J+K) = +4
See: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero & Chavo Guerrero, Extreme Rules 2009
Early in his career, The King of Kings threw down in a pen full of mud, slop and pig excrement. Years later, The Guerreros and Santina got down and dirty in that very same pigsty. Why so dangerous? Two words: amoebic dysentery. Who knows what kind of diseases one can pick up wrestling with little piggies? Also, getting one’s footing in this match, what with all the mud, is near impossible. Rolling an ankle, however, is almost a given.
16. Strap Match
(B+D+E+H) = +4
See: CM Punk vs. Umaga, Extreme Rules 2009
Steel Cage Match? There’s limited space, but a Superstar can still scramble from his/her foe. Hell In A Cell? More space to run. In a Strap Match, you’re tethered with a bullrope, Yappapi Indian Strap or biker chain—among other options—to ensure you can’t escape your foe. To win, you have to lug your (sometimes larger) opponent to all four corners, while he’s whipping you and pulling you back like an attack dog at every step.
13. Punjabi Prison
(B+D+E+Hx2) = +5
See: Batista vs. The Great Khali, No Mercy 2007
The confusing rules in a Punjabi Prison Match don’t make it any less dangerous for its inhabitants. The giant bamboo structure is littered with crude, spiked weapons, and the only way to escape is over its equally spiky walls, or through one of the four doors that open for a brief 60-second window during the match and then close permanently. But in a cruel WWE twist, escaping one cage doesn’t end the bout, as there’s a second apparatus surrounding it!
11. Loser Leaves Town Town match
(D+E+S) = +5
See: Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, WrestleMania XXIV
Possibly no match on this list leaves more at stake for both competitors. Lose, and you’re gone. Not from the main event. Not from the title picture. From WWE...forever! So, what Superstar wouldn’t pull out all the stops trying to beat his opponent in order to secure the win, and next week’s paycheck? With so much on the line, all career matches end with at least one Superstar saying goodbye, and most end with both Superstars’ lives changed forever.
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