
WWE Bands we’d like to see
As we all know, Rock ‘n’ Wrestling have a proud and longstanding partnership between WWE and musical luminaries like Ray Charles, Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Alter Bridge, Motorhead, Cyndi Lauper and the one and only Aretha Franklin. That history continues to this day as Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal make, well, not exactly beautiful music together as the newly formed 3MB.
Actually, come to think of it, they haven’t even technically made ... music ... together, at all.
Right. Anyway ...
What can’t be denied is the presence felt in the wake of the numerous attacks (all on the rise) on Superstars, all administered by 3MB. It’s a presence that has the WWE Universe buzzing about what is, quite possibly, the strangest (faux) musical trio ever assembled inside (and maybe even outside) the squared circle.
So, with the unexpected emergence of 3MB as players on the WWE stage, WWE.com takes a look at 10 other potential Superstar bands.
RKO SteamDragon
One thing that makes the new group of 3MB so novel, interesting and dangerous, is that it is made up ofitsvariety of Superstars. Taking a cue from strange bedfellows Slater, Mahal and McIntyre, Randy Orton and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat could form a power duo that spans both styles and eras.
The idea of taking one of the greats of the past and pairing him with one of today’s most dominant Superstars could give the WWE Universe a new tag team, a band unlike anything they have ever seen.
With the rock solid technique and experience of Steamboat and the ice-cold intensity and danger of Orton, this twosome would be a group not to be trifled with. They could overwhelm their competition and give any Superstar a feeling of defeat that he simply couldn’t fight anymore. One thing’s for sure, RKO SteamDragon would certainly give the WWE Universe an extensive catalogue of greatest “hits,” that they can enjoy again and again.
Woo Woo Woo Tang Clan
Shame on those who dare trifle with Zack Ryder and the Woo Woo Woo Tang Clan. Masters of both the 36 chambers and the art of rapping, these WWE Superstars can disarm opponents lyrically and physically with equal efficiency. Led by the ninja-MC skills of Zack Ryder (aka the ZRA), with Dolph Ziggler (the DZA), Santino (Ghostface Kobrah), Trent Barreta (Barretah Deck), Scott Stanford (U-Scott), Primo (Masta Backstabba) and posthumous contributions from John Morrison (JoMo-DB), the Woo Woo Woo Tang Clan is primed for a hostile takeover of the hypothetical WWE music scene. Needless to say, they ain’t nothin’ to front with.
Brogue Kick Murphys
Grab a pint, throw on your finest St. Paddy’s Day wear and get down to the stomping sounds of the Brogue Kick Murphys, WWE’s finest Celtic rock band. With World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus leading the charge and the father-son duo of Finlay and Hornswoggle singing backup, the Brogue Kick Murphys are the WWE Universe’s go-to for sing-alongs, bar fights and everything in between. Any and all critics who disparage the Brogue Kick Murphys will be met with a kick to the face (the last writer who decreed they were “out of touch with modern music” could only consume liquids for a month). All together now: LLLLLAAAAAAOOOOOOOOCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!
Miz Khalifa
Combine the preening self-aggrandizing of The Awesome One with the towering swag of The Great Khali and you get Miz Khalifa, a two-man crew that brings both lyrical dynamism and physical presence to a WWE rap game starved for both. The duo can be depended on for pro-Cleveland sports anthems and earth-rattling club bangers in equal measures. We see Miz as more of the Biggie of this duo, with Khali handling Puffy’s old duties as hype man because let’s face it, nobody in their right mind would boo The Miz with The Punjabi Warrior backing him up. Awesome.
"No!" Doubt
Daniel Bryan & Kane have joined forces to form one of the most confrontational and argumentative tag teams in WWE history, Team Hell No. That hasn’t stopped the unlikely duo, however, from winning the WWE Tag Team Titles and making major waves in WWE.
As successful as they’ve been in their brief time together, the addition of a female voice to this peculiar group could make Team Hell No’s beautiful disharmony sound even better. That’s why the wild, assertive former General Manager of Raw — and ex of Daniel Bryan — AJ Lee, could make this a power trio and again prove that she is so much more than, as Gwen Stefani said, “just a girl.”
If you or any Superstar on the WWE roster is thinking about messing with this potential trio or ever weighing in on Kane and Bryan’s ongoing debate, “No!” Doubt’s advice would likely be, “don’t speak.”
Booker T and the Electric Mayhem
The Muppets and WWE have had a special connection ever since the beloved puppets special guest starred on the Oct. 31, 2011, episode of Monday Night Raw. This bond could be taken to this next level if potential band front man Booker T, working primarily on lead vocals and keyboards, formed his own WWE band, inspired by The Electric Mayhem.
Just like 3MB incorporates Superstars from different backgrounds and walks of life, Booker could do the same with Beaker lookalike Sheamus on guitar and the always entertaining Hornswoggle playing some silky saxophone. And then, rocking the drums like he used to throttle is competition in WWE, The Animal, Batista. Keith Moon and Levon Helm wouldn’t have anything on the six-time World Champion, who would surely pound a snare, or a skull, with the absolute best of them.
This band could rock the very foundations of WWE with talent, humor and cleverly arranged musical numbers. Can you dig it?
Grand Funkadactyl Railroad
This one was a no-brainer, really. Along with Naomi and Cameron, Brodus Clay has been coming to your town and helping you party down, as only The Funkasaurus can, for months now. And the Superstar from Planet Funk shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, as WWE’s prehistoric playa always delivers a show — be it before, during or after his match.
Win or lose, Grand Funkadactyl Railroad rolls on, bustin’ a move in arenas all over the world.
The Little Jimmy Hendrix Experience
Too easy? Perhaps, but c’mon, we had to do it, mostly because “Little Jimmy Hendrix Experience” is just too good a pun to not use in a feature like this. But on a completely different level, it just doesn’t get any more psychedelic than a band with an invisible lead singer backed up by a sock puppet Cobra and a mop.
The perfect guitar-driven mix featuring three of WWE’s most eccentric characters ever, The Little Jimmy Hendrix Experience is a must-see stage show that will leave you with just one question: Are you experienced?
The Show Offspring
Never one to share the stage with anyone, The Show Offspring is unquestionably a one-man band, baby.
Get it? Show Offspring? Because Dolph Ziggler is The Showoff, you see, and there’s this band called — ya know what? Never mind. If you don’t get it, then you, kid, aren’t all right, so let some days go by because you’re definitely too young to attend a Show Offspring concert, anyway. If you’re wondering, though, what might be expected from such a show, here’s a little hint: It’ll be flashy, loud and the lead singer will be full of self-esteem.
If looking at Ziggler’s hair color makes you feel like you’ve been staring at the sun and you gotta get away, well, spare me the details and don’t come out and play. But if you’re down, come smash it up at a Show Offspring jam session because, though Ziggler would argue to eliminate that well-known ’90s caveat, he is pretty fly. So get your tickets now before they’ve all gone away.
Ezekiel Jackson Five
You probably know that Ezekiel Jackson is a former Intercontinental Champion. What you might not know, however, is that the massive Superstar is also The Personification of Disco Nation. Well, at least when it comes to this feature, he is. And just think about the deep tracks a Jackson-fronted (and backed-up since there are five of him) album could have.
Sure, The Prime Time Players might not think that Big Zeke’s got cuts, but what do those guys know, anyway? ( WATCH)
When you take on The Ezekiel Jackson 5, defeat comes as easy as 1 ... 2 ... 3.
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