Raw: Sept. 29, 2014

The Authority demanded Dean Ambrose return Seth Rollins’ Money in the Bank briefcase

Dean Ambrose brings Seth Rollins' Money in the Bank briefcase to Raw, and he's looking for a fight.

CHICAGO — Forget hijacking Raw, The Authority has a bigger, more pertinent theft to deal with: Dean Ambrose’s burglary of the Money in the Bank briefcase on SmackDown, leaving The Authority’s crown prince temporarily without his golden ticket. Adding to their problems at the start of Raw was the threat of Brock Lesnar having to deal with Seth Rollins for his Night of Champions sneak attack. But Rollins put Paul Heyman’s mind to rest on that matter relatively early on by insisting he attacked The Beast Incarnate of his own accord.

Watch: Heyman confronts Rollins |  Ambrose sets his terms

Yet even after The Authority did manage to make contact with Ambrose, who appeared on the TitanTron and dared Rollins to get the briefcase himself, the corporate power had to contend with one more obstacle. That would be John Cena, who stormed Triple H & Co. and sent Rollins scurrying for cover for the second straight week.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler def. The Miz and Cesaro

The Showoff defends his Intercontinental Title against The Swiss Superman and the self-professed "A-Lister" on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler never met a two-on-one situation he didn’t take advantage of, so it’s no surprise that The Showoff walked into a Triple Threat defense of his Intercontinental Title and walked out with the prize still strapped around his perpetually swiveling waist. The defense was even more impressive considering his opponents: perennial foe The Miz and jilted challenger Cesaro, whose own bid for the title was cut short by a missed call on SmackDown.

Photos:  Dolph shows the world against Miz and Cesaro

Ziggler’s strategy turned out to be perfect in dealing with his opponents, however. Cesaro and Miz would inevitably squabble with each other and Ziggler would use his speed and technical acumen to pick both men apart. Some trademark showboating aside — check out the Ziggler-Figure-Four — it was that perfect timing that helped him retain the title. Cesaro had just obliterated an airborne Miz with the European uppercut when The Showoff pounced, Superkicking the Superman into next week and pouncing for the 1-2-3 immediately after.

Layla def. Rosa Mendes

The newest "Total Divas" cast member squares off against Layla.

Can Natalya be a mentor if she has to contend with a marital struggle? The Queen of Harts’ princess in waiting, Rosa Mendes, was left high and dry against Layla while Natalya tried to get Tyson Kidd to focus at ringside. The former WWE Tag Team Champion’s indifference to his wife’s protégée ended up costing Rosa, despite an outside-the-ring brawl that briefly gave her the advantage. Layla quickly turned the tables by bouncing Rosa face-first off the ropes and followed up with the Lay-out for a true rude awakening.

Dean Ambrose returned Seth Rollins' Money in the Bank briefcase

Seth Rollins' quest to regain his stolen Money in the Bank briefcase blows up in his face.

Dean Ambrose is nothing if not a generous man. Not only did the former U.S. Champion prove himself to be a true man of the people by handing out some stolen merchandise — Roman Reigns T-shirts for everyone — but he even returned Seth Rollins’ Money in the Bank briefcase. Granted, it took some intimidation from Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury — “the Cruiserweight division,” as Ambrose called them — to convince him to hand over the goods. Turns out, Ambrose just wanted the biggest audience possible for his ultimate humiliation of Rollins: The unstable Superstar had rigged the briefcase to spew green gunk all over The Aerialist’s suit (shades of another cruiserweight) while the rest of The Authority’s cronies laughed and laughed. 

Bo Dallas def. Mark Henry

The World's Strongest Man goes one-on-one with WWE's most "inspirational" Superstar.

Maybe this whole Bo-lieving thing is more legit than the WWE Universe thought. Bo Dallas practiced what he preached against Mark Henry and checked The World’s Strongest Man into his own Hall of Pain when he upset the former World Heavyweight Champion on Raw. The loss came at the worst possible time for Henry, whose two losses to Rusev have left him in a rut. It’s an aggressive rut, to be sure: Henry pummeled Bo into near-unconsciousness and was about to turn the former NXT Champion into a splatter on the mat with a top-rope splash, but a timely evasion and subsequent running Bo-dog ensured that Henry’s losing streak continued. Bo certainly wasn’t celebrating for long, though, because The World’s Strongest Man sought him out backstage after the match and put a rather tremendous hurting on the inspirational one with the aid of a production crate. It is what he does.

Brie Bella def. Cameron & Eva Marie

Just as Nikki Bella faced numerous Handicap Matches after her sister quit WWE, Brie Bella faces two Divas at once.

Nikki Bella has been saying that Brie Bella has no idea how hard it is to be her … so Brie got to walk a mile in Nikki’s shoes. Brie was forced to compete in an Authority-ordered Handicap Match not unlike the ones Nikki was forced to compete in during Brie’s exile from WWE. The difference was, Brie won. Contending against Cameron and Eva Marie, the former Divas Champion found herself outnumbered and overwhelmed until she was literally backed into a corner. At that point, she took a cue from her husband Daniel Bryan and fought her way out with elbows to the face of both her opponents, ultimately rolling Cameron up after Eva was knocked off the apron to claim her win. Brie Mode, indeed.

Slater-Gator def. Los Matadores

Raw gets wild as the WWE Universe witnesses the debut of "Mini-Gator."

Slater-Gator got a win, and all it took was a third addition to their odd-couple act to give them the boost. Slated (so to speak) to face Los Matadores, Heath Slater & Titus O’Neil conscripted Hornswoggle into their team as “Mini-Gator” and he proved to make all the difference, stopping a top-rope attack from the toreadors and enabling Slater to notch the match-winning roll-up (albeit with a handful of tights). Slater-Gator’s post-match mockery of El Torito, however, drew the wrath of Adam Rose and The Bunny, who were seated at commentary and responded appropriately, dispatching the unlikely buddies in quick order and oh-oh-oh-oh-oh’ing their way out of Chicago.

Photos:  Jesse Jackson visits Raw

Big Show confronted Rusev and Lana

The World's Largest Athlete ends Lana's latest anti-American tirade.

Rusev got knocked out on SmackDown, but the Russian’s impromptu trip to The Land of Nod hasn’t stopped him and Lana from crowing like the world-beaters they perceive themselves to be by labeling Big Show a “sore loser” for his actions on SmackDown. The World’s Strongest Athlete countered by labeling the Russian coalition as a hollow “propaganda machine” and attempting to punch out The Super Athlete a second time. The good news for Rusev was that he evaded the giant’s fist. That said, he suffered a potentially deeper hurt when Show tore The Hero of the Russian Federation’s giant Russian flag down from the rafters. 

Alicia Fox def. Divas Champion AJ Lee

Paige introduces Divas Champion AJ Lee to her brand-new friend.

Paige doesn’t seem to be one to sweat a lost friendship for too long. Only a couple of weeks after dismissing AJ Lee as her “frenemy,” The Diva of Tomorrow revealed her newest gal pal for a bout against the Divas Champion. That turned out to be Alicia Fox, and if the match is any indication, this is set to be the start of a beautiful friendship indeed. Despite suffering an airborne attack from AJ that took both of them out, Paige administered a timely distraction of AJ that allowed Alicia to roll the champ up and seal the match. 

U.S. Champion Sheamus def. Damien Sandow

The Celtic Warrior clashes with The Miz's insufferable stunt double.

It does, after all, make sense that a stunt double’s job would be to take some pretty heavy hits, so what happened to Damien Sandow against Sheamus was, in some ways, simply business as usual for The Miz’s stand-in. Even though Sandow, aka “Damien Mizdow,” was entered into the match in the first place by The Authority for mouthing off to Triple H, the former Mr. Money in the Bank treated the bout less like a punishment than an opportunity, putting the boots to the Irishman almost immediately and refusing to let up.

Watch:  Champion vs. stunt double

The Celtic Warrior regained the advantage late in the game and didn’t let up, though, tenderizing Sandow with Ten Beats of the Bodhrán before finishing him off with the Brogue Kick. The U.S. Champion even threw some shade at Miz himself when he tossed Sandow headfirst into The Awesome One at the commentary table, later daring Miz to make something of it when he covered his understudy.

Hulk Hogan addressed Susan G. Komen’s partnership with WWE

Of all the momentous announcements The Immortal Hulk Hogan has delivered to the WWE Universe, this is among the most important. As WWE begins its third annual partnership with the Susan G. Komen, Hogan not only revealed his new, Komen-inspired pink-and-black T-shirt, but also introduced WWE’s guests of honor: Several breast cancer survivors seated in the front row for the show. He also encouraged the WWE Universe to head to WWEShop.com, where Komen-inspired merchandise will contribute to breast cancer research and the search for a cure. The link’s right here. The only question is: Whatcha gonna do?

John Cena & Dean Ambrose def. Kane & Randy Orton via Disqualification

The Cenation leader teams with the unstable Ambrose to battle The Viper and Corporate Kane.

Lesson of the night? Don’t disrespect Mr. Money in the Bank. Even when they lost, The Authority won in Raw’s main event as Seth Rollins administered his long-promised punishment to Dean Ambrose following a disqualification loss by his Authority-mates, Kane & Randy Orton, to Ambrose & John Cena. The corporate competitors certainly avenged their humiliation at Cena and Ambrose’s hands the previous week as well. After Rollins struck — moments after Ambrose planted Orton with Dirty Deeds — they took advantage of a squabble between the fan-favorites to tear the twosome apart with Chokeslams, RKOs and, as a final exclamation point, Curb Stomps for each atop the Money in the Bank briefcase itself.