WWE.com to Brisco Brothers: "What's the Damage?"
On the Feb. 8 edition of SmackDown, World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio gave an unwelcomed facelift to both Big Show and his bus. Humiliation aside, it’s possible that The World’s Largest Athlete could feel whole again for the price of a giant bar of soap. But buying new tires for such a large vehicle? Getting a rushed paint job in time for WWE Elimination Chamber on Feb. 17? Fixing his super-sized ride could prove a lot more costly.
Always eager to help, WWE.com has provided the mountainous Superstar with an idea of what he might be in for. We asked WWE Hall of Famer Gerald Brisco and Brisco Brothers Body Shop Inc. in Tampa, Fla., to give us rough estimates on some of the most famous automotive bash-ups in WWE history.
Damage when Edge destroyed Alberto Del Rio's luxury car at WrestleMania XXVII
- Windshield: $750
- Fix body (various scrapes along the side, trunk, hood): $8,000 (Brisco: "When you're doing paint jobs on a car like this, you can’t take shortcuts. You need the most elite painters in Tampa and probably 10 coats of paint on the body damage alone.")
- Side windows (3): $1,050
- Elbow indentation on roof: $800
- Boot indentation on door: $800
- Getting out that Rated-R Super Smell: $375
- Replacing missing crowbar: $0 (Brisco: "Just put Christian in the back seat and call it a day.")
Estimated Total Cost: $11,775
Damage when “Stone Cold” filled Mr. McMahon’s corvette with cement
- Cement removal: The damage is pretty much set in stone … or you know ... concrete.
- Clean gum out of ashtray: If you can get to it, fairly cheap.
Estimated Total Cost: Austin 3:16 says I just totaled your ride!
Damage when Kofi Kingston "painted” Randy Orton’s race car in October 2009
- A completely new paint job, mixing original Orton images with images of SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer: $1,000 several times over (Brisco: "You need several coats of paint. Really, Orton kind of reminded me of SpongeBob, so I don’t think it would be all that difficult to interweave them.")
Estimated Total Cost: TBD (minimum $1,000)
Damage when The Undertaker kidnapped SmackDown GM Theodore Long in September 2009
- Removal of brimstone smell from interior: $825 (Brisco:"Undertaker Ooze is about the same as Rated-R Super Smell. You just need a lot more of the solution to clean it.")
- Removal of mystical powers that have possessed the car locks: $200 (Brisco:"We bring in a pretty good voodoo guy.")
- Repair the CD player with jammed Black Sabbath album: $100 (Brisco:"Same voodoo guy.")
- Repair GPS, stuck on destination Parts Unknown: N/A (Brisco: "If you can get Parts Unknown on the GPS, keep it! I've never been able to. And I've tried.")
Estimated Total Cost: $1,125
Damage when Goldust took on Roddy Piper in a "Backlot Brawl" at WrestleMania XII
- Dented hood, back bumper, front bumper $1500 (Brisco:"Because of year and make of the car, you'd have to search the yards for parts.")
- Smashed windshield, wiper blades $280
- Water damage (interior/exterior) from fire hose $750 (Brisco:"You need to rip out interior and steam clean it.")
- Removal of gold paint chips throughout interior $3500 (Brisco:"We had somebody who wanted the gold put into his car for $3,500. So, you might just try and find a buyer.")
- Replace destroyed dumpster car hit (Hey, it has wheels, too): N/A Brisco: ("You’d have to call waste management. There's a lot of steel at the base. That's kind of out of our league.")
Estimated Total Cost: $6,130
Damage when “Stone Cold” flipped Triple H’s car from high in the air at Survivor Series 2000
- Since the car was pancaked, how much to convert it into a convertible
- Estimated Total Cost: $5,000 (Brisco comment:"It can also be converted into a truck or a nice flower pot.")
Damage when DX bus exploded in April 2000
- For fixing, you know, the bus: $50,000 to $100,000(Brisco:"You have to replace the bus as well as all its state-of-the-art, high-tech features.")
Estimated Total Cost: $50,000 to $100,000
Damage when John Cena delivered the Attitude Adjustment on Batista on hood of sports car at WWE Over the Limit 2010
- Removal of Animalistic indentation on the hood: $1,000
- Removal of “You Can’t See Me” high-top indentation: $500
- Replacing windshield washer fluid: $25
Estimated Total Cost: $1,525
Damage when DX celebrated Fourth of July 2006 with fireworks in Mr. McMahon’s limo
- Burn damage to the interior: $15,000 (Brisco:"Mr. McMahon would want only the finest leather.")
- Interior (Green) smoke damage: See above
- Fine for shooting off fireworks in a vehicle without a permit:N/A (Brisco:"DX would be pretty good at bribery. They'd probably get away with it for a T-shirt, a DVD and a couple glow sticks."
Estimated Total Cost: $15,000 and DX merch
Damage when Alberto Del Rio’s car hit Big Show in May 2011
- Replace front right wheel /shocks: $11,000
- Minor damage to undercarriage: $600
- Removal of giant knee indentation from steering column: $12,000
- Oil change: $100 (Gerald Brisco: "The World’s Largest Athlete will certainly do damage to the oil pan.")
Estimated Total Cost: $23,700
Damage when Bret Hart's car was backed into as he was getting into it in February 2010
- Dented driver’s side body: $1000
- Insert rear camera system on the car that hit “Hit Man”: $450
Estimated Total Cost: $1,450
Damage when Edge kidnapped Paul Bearer in November 2010
- Do you guys fix wheelchairs? If so, Kane and Edge destroyed at least five of them. A quality wheelchair could cost $1,000. (Recalling how things worked for George on NBC’s Seinfeld, Mr. Brisco pointed out that "you really don’t want to short-change when replacing that sort of thing.")
Estimated Total Cost: $1,000 per wheelchair
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